


Two Halves of a Whole

by smaragdbird



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Jake, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, First Time, Getting Together, M/M, Major Character Injury, Post-Canon, Riding, Topping from the Bottom, jake has committment issues, nate has abandoment issues, talking about their feelings, top nate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-05
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2019-05-02 18:23:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14550618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smaragdbird/pseuds/smaragdbird
Summary: Nate's injuries are a lot worse than first expected. While his drift partner is in a coma, Jake comes to terms with what he wants to do now that he's technically free to leave the PPDC again and a literal world-saving hero to boot.





	Two Halves of a Whole

When the evacuation transport finally reached them, Jake felt so exhausted that he could’ve fallen asleep in the snow. Next to him Amara echoed his thoughts when she said, “Think I can convince them to carry me on board?”

In the end though Jake staggered to his feet and grabbed Amara’s arm to help her up as well. For a moment he wondered if Mako and Raleigh had been this happy and exhausted after saving the world. It hurt that he couldn’t ask them anymore. Maybe he could hassle Nate about it. As interested as he was in the Precursors he had probably asked Mako and Raleigh all about their trip there.

“That’s three for three for saving the world in your family”, Amara quipped, gently elbowing him in the side as they made their way inside the transporter.

“Didn’t do it alone”, Jake replied. Still he smiled. Mako would be proud, he knew it. And their dad, well he’d have given him a pat on the shoulder at least. All those years in the Royal Airforce had made him more English than the Queen.

The ramp of the transporter came down and the other cadets swarmed them like the bunch of overexcited teenagers that they were. Jake grinned when he saw Vik frame Amara’s face in her hands and look down on her as if she had just saved the world. 

“Not so bad, smalley”, he heard Vik say. “I can see why you like the small one.”

Amara grinned up at her. “I like the big one, too.”

Some things never changed, Jake thought as he watched the two girls. They didn’t kiss but they didn’t let go of each other either, not even when they were joined by the other cadets, all clamouring to hear Amara’s account of the story.

A shrill alarm from the other side of the cabin brought the celebration to a halt. Two paramedics, who had been waiting their turn to take a look at Jake and Amara barrelled past them where Nate lay unconscious on a stretcher. Someone had cut away the middle part of his suit and the white bandage was turning red from the blood seeping from the wound in his side.

“He was unconscious when we found him”, Jinhai explained. 

Jake turned his attention to the paramedics who were talking fast in Mandarin, which Jake did not speak. Back when he had still been interested in learning a new language he had learned Japanese to be able to talk with Mako. “What are they saying?” Jake asked Jinhai.

“He’s losing a lot of blood”, Jinhai said eventually. “And that we’ll have to land in Kyoto to get him to a hospital.”

There was probably more going on but Jake didn’t need all the medical details to know that there was a good chance Nate would die. He couldn’t even consider losing Nate, not now, not when he had already lost Mako, not when they were finally on the path of mending their broken relationship.

Amara sidled up to him and squeezed his hand and the other cadets kept looking in Nate’s direction with anxiety and worry clearly written across their face. Of course, they’d be worried about him. Nate had trained them for the last few months.

/

Nate looked unnaturally pale against the white hospital sheets and surrounded by tubes and monitors. The doctors had said all kinds of things, blood loss, shock, artificial coma, organ failure, possible brain damage, but Jake couldn’t put them into context right now. Apparently dragging himself through Tokyo to take down Newt had been a less than stellar idea, aggravating his injuries to the point that they might kill him.

The last time he had talked to Nate, he had been fine, or no, he had sounded fine. Had he already known then how injured he was or had it come as a surprise? Jake could easily imagine that Nate had known tracking through Tokyo with his side sliced open hadn’t been a good idea but he had done it anyway to capture Newt. 

Nate had always believed the Jager program, in the fight against the Kaijus. That strength had made his dad keep Nate in the program despite being unable to drift with anyone until he had tried it with Jake. Back then a couple other cadets had asked what is was like to drift together for four hours, to be that in tune with each other. Jake had never been able to describe it properly but he had once heard Nate describe it as feeling finally whole.

Compared to that drifting together in Sydney had felt like a slap to the face.

Russia and Tokyo had been better but it still hadn’t been like back then when Jake had been unable to tell where he ended and where Nate began in the Drift. And now he might never have the chance again just because Nate had decided to play the hero.

Drifting with Amara was amazing too but it was not the same as it was with Nate. 

“You’re not allowed to die, you selfish bastard”, Jake told Nate. He had heard once that people in a coma could hear what was being said around them. Maybe he could annoy Nate into waking up. “You didn’t get to kill the big Kaiju so you just had to go and catch Newt instead of letting the kids have the glory.”

Of course, Nate wouldn’t have seen it like that. He had probably been the closest to Newt and had decided that risking his life was an acceptable loss compared to letting Newt slip through their fingers again.

“I am going to ask Jules on a date and we’re going to make sweet, sweet love in Gipsy’s conn-pod”, Jake declared but there was no reaction from Nate. Of course not, Nate knew Jules better than Jake did and even he knew that she’d never agree to that even if he employed all of his considerable charm.

“If you die they’re going to put me in charge here”, Jake said, which was likely to happen unless he hightailed out of here like a bat out of hell. “You don’t want that to happen Nate. You know I’m going to do all kinds of crazy shit that you wouldn’t approve off.”

In all fairness he was probably going to be less crazy than Nate would imagine but then again, he was trying to shock him awake, so he had to get creative. However, none of Jake’s increasingly implausible list of protocols he’d disregard if put in charge of Moyulan provoked as much as the flutter of eyelids from Nate.

“If you wanted me to play prince charming to your pretty face, you should’ve told me beforehand”, Jake eventually said. “I don’t kiss unconscious people without prior permission. You’re really missing out though, I’m a great kisser.”

He wasn’t even exaggerating, kissing was something he really liked, sometimes it was better than sex, though it had never been as good as drifting. Jake slumped in the highly uncomfortable chair and stared at Nate. “Just wake the fuck up please.”

/

There was a man sitting next to Nate’s bed when he came by after training. Jake had never met him but he knew who he was from the drift with Nate: Joseph Burke, Nate’s former partner who had left him for Shao’s drone program. 

Jake felt a sudden bout of betrayal, not his own feelings but Nate’s, leftover ghost drifting from the abrupt separation of their connection. That was another thing he was going to mention to Nate. He had no desire to ghost drift with him for the rest of his life. Everyone would get whiplash from the constant personality changes.

“Oh, hey”, Burke had noticed him and rose to his feet. “You must Jake Pentecost, I’m Joe Burke, Nate’s old partner.”

“Nice to meet you”, Jake replied, forcing himself to shake Joe’s hand. 

“I just wanted to see how Nate’s doing”, Burke said, looking back at Nate, guilt written plainly across his face. “We didn’t part on the best terms.”

“Tell me about it”, Jake muttered, more to himself than to Burke. “How long did you drift together?”

“Six years”, Burke answered. “Nate didn’t expect to find another partner after you left. But Mako always kept an eye out for someone who might be drift compatible. We found each other thanks to her.”

“She has a knack for that”, Jake replied, remembering how easily Mako had been able to judge someone’s drift compatibility from a test fight. “Had”, Jake corrected himself. He still caught himself speaking of Mako in the present tense as if she could walk around the corner any moment now. 

“I’m sorry”, Burke said and sounded like he meant it. “She was a great woman.”

“Yeah, she was”, Jake said softly. “I wished we had more time together.”

Burke nodded understandingly. “I thought that about Nate, too. I thought I could eventually talk to him, make him understand why I did what I did. Why I left him.”

“You didn’t explain that when you told him?” Jake didn’t think Burke was the type to just up and leave but then again, he had only met him five minutes ago.

“I didn’t tell him, he found out through the drift”, Burke rubbed the back of his neck. “And afterwards he didn’t really let me explain. He was too hurt by my decision.”

Jake grimaced. First him and then Burke, no wonder Nate had developed the personality of a particularly prickly hedgehog. Losing one drift partner was bad enough but losing two, well Jake couldn’t recall ever hearing of a Jaeger pilot having had three different partners.

“Well, saving the world and catching the guy responsible should put him in a good mood”, Jake replied. Nate had somewhat forgiven him, there was a good chance he’d forgive Burke too.

Burke nodded but he did not look convince, though whether that was about Nate’s survival or Nate’s forgiveness Jake was unable to tell. “Look, I know I’m not with the PPDC anymore but I’d appreciate it if you could let me know if anything changes. Jules is not really talking to me either.”

“Yeah, she’s pretty protective of Nate”, Jake agreed. “I’ll let you know if...when Nate’s getting better.”

“Let me know if he’s getting worse, too”, Burke said with a grim expression on his face.

/

There was always someone at Nate’s bedside. Jake hadn’t realised before how popular Nate was with the other inhabitants of the shatterdome despite his closed off personality and hard-ass attitude as a trainer. Apparently being a workaholic with no hobbies or friends outside the PPDC was very appealing to a bunch of other workaholics with little to no hobbies and/or friends outside the PPDC. 

Even Amara got roped into Nate-watching since the general consensus seemed to be that he shouldn’t be alone when he woke up. Jake usually found her reading a manual about J-Tech that Jules had given her with her feet propped up at the side of Nate’s bed. Everyone else always had a story about Nate that they shared with him from training to the mundane everyday life stories to the time Kaiju worshippers had kidnapped Vik and Jinhai and Burke and Nate had almost been killed saving them.

Jake liked to hear these kinds of stories though he rarely volunteered anything about his first time as Nate’s drift partner in return. 

Jules was sitting by Nate’s bedside when he woke up. Which was great, because Nate probably preferred seeing the face of someone he liked compared to Burke, for example, but at the same time it made Jake’s insides squirm.

Jules liked Nate, which she had made abundantly clear according to everyone at the shatterdome. So either he hadn’t caught on yet (very likely, the Nate Jake remembered could be a dense as a brick about other people liking him) or he just wasn’t interested (less likely given how protective Nate was of Jules).

Jake adamantly told himself that it was not jealousy what he was feeling. Jules gave the impression of a good woman, smart, reliable and as committed to the PPDC as Nate was. If anyone deserved Nate it was her. 

Still, he hurried a little more towards Nate’s infirmary room than was strictly necessary. The kids had all asked him to give Nate their best and that they would come by later. So if anyone asked, he definitely had a reason why he was walking so fast. Besides, Nate was his drift partner, of course Jake was keen to see him awake and lucid after fearing he might die for a week.

Of course, he ran right into Jules, just outside Nate’s room.

“Hey”, he greeted her. “I heard Nate finally woke up. Is he still awake?”

Jules nodded but there was something in her expression that he couldn’t decipher. He was about to push past her and go to Nate’s room when she stopped him with a hand on his chest. “Before I let you go in there I have to ask you something.”

“Okay?” Jake raised his eyebrows at her uncharacteristically serious tone. 

“Are you going to stay?”

“You mean stay here?” Jake asked to buy himself some time. He hadn’t seriously considered his future yet since he wouldn’t have gone anywhere while Nate’s life had still been on the balance. Now though he had technically fulfilled his side of the bargain he had made with Mako and had saved the world and avenged her on top of that. He was free to go if wanted to.

Jules gave him a look that clearly told him she wasn’t appreciating him playing stupid.

“I don’t know”, Jake replied. “Is that really important right now? I just want to see Nate.”

“If you’re going to leave again I’d rather if you didn’t make him hope for something that won’t happen.”

Jake couldn’t help but gape at her. Was she really giving him the shovel talk? “Nate can barely stand to be in the same room as me”, he reminded her. Just because they had been fine at Tokyo didn’t mean that there weren’t some glaring issues left between them.

Jules still looked at him as if he was being deliberately stupid. “You went from barely able to drift together to a hundred percent within a few days”, she said, crossing her arms over her chest. “You were already picking up each other sentences after drifting twice. Even Nate and Joe weren’t that good together.”

“What are you trying to say?”

Jules outright glared at him now. “Nate has feelings for you. I know that, the whole shatterdome knows it, even Mako knew it. I was there when Joe left him, I know from Mako how bad he was when you left him - and I know it wasn’t your fault - “she added quickly when he opened his mouth to protest. “But in the past weeks you made it abundantly clear that you don’t want to be here. Just be honest with him, Jake. Don’t make him hope. I don’t think he could take another disappointment like that.”

“What if I want to stay?” Jake challenged her, more to see her reaction than actually having given it any thought.

She gave him a long, hard look. “If you really mean that, then we won’t have a problem.”

Jake had dealt with smugglers, Kaiju worshippers and criminals but something in her tone made a shiver run down his spine.

/

“You know the next time you’re majorly injured how about you sit your arse down and wait for help?” Jake said as he strolled into Nate’s hospital room. The conversation with Jules had shaken him more than he cared to admit even to himself but seeing Nate awake and coherent was enough to push his worries back for now.

“You’re welcome”, Nate replied.

“No, you’re welcome. I saved the world. You almost died of internal bleeding.” Jake was a lot angrier about it then he would’ve thought considering it had happened more than a week ago. 

“Newt would have gotten away.”

“You had five cadets at your disposal that all would’ve happily punched him in the face and handcuffed him to a railing. You didn’t have to play the hero.”

Nate glanced away. “Figured you’d be on your way by now”, he said after a while.

“To where?”

Nate shrugged. “I heard Mako found you in the US but we could’ve dropped you anywhere you wanted to go.”

“You’re that keen to get rid of me, huh?” Jake tried to keep his tone light but it didn’t work on Nate.

“You made it clear from the beginning that you don’t want to be here”, Nate turned back to look at him. “Fighting a Kaiju counts officially as graduation. You’re free to leave.”

“Did you consider that I might want to stay?” Jake asked, feeling himself get angry. That Jules had questioned him had been one thing but Nate was supposed to know him better than anyone else.

“No.”

“Well thanks a lot for the fucking confidence, Nate.” Jake turned to go. Why the fuck had he thought that this might go any differently? 

“Jake, wait!” Nate tried to sit up to reach for him, his fingertips managing to brush against Jake’s hand.

“Are you insane?!” Jake yelled, back at his side in an instant and pushed him down by his shoulders. “Lie down, you idiot before you rip something important again.”

But Nate didn’t seem to hear him. Instead he looked at Jake intently, his hand wrapped around Jake’s wrist. “I had six failed drift partners before I met you. It took Mako five years to find Joseph.”

When Jules had warned him, Jake hadn’t taken her seriously. But the pain in Nate’s voice, that was serious. A part of him wanted to rip Burke’s throat out. Jake totally had the high ground here. After all he hadn’t left Nate voluntarily.

He could go back to stealing and smuggling and bartering, living in abandoned beach villas and do whatever he wanted. It had been an easy life but also kind of empty, with shallow friendships and even more shallow relationships.

Or he could stay here, continue Mako’s work, continue their father’s work, chafe against the rules as he worked towards a purpose. He could be with Nate again, inside the Drift and outside of it.

And Jake realised that he had already made his decision, it had only taken him a while to acknowledge it.

“Burke’s an idiot”, Jake said, sitting down on the chair next to Nate’s bed. “An even bigger one that I was with sixteen when I decided to single-pilot that Jaeger. The next time we’re fighting I’m just going to take Scrapper for a run.”

“Jake - “He knew that tone. It was Nate’s ‘Get to the point’ tone.

“Of course I’m staying”, Jake said. “The kids need a fun dad and that certainly isn’t going to be you.”

“Do you mean that?” There were too many emotions in Nate’s voice to tell them apart properly and Jake would’ve loved to drift with Nate in this moment just to convince him how serious he was.

“Of course I fucking mean that”, Jake replied. He carefully sat down on the side of Nate’s bed, the hand that Nate had wrapped his own around, still on Nate’s chest. “You’ll never be rid of me again.” Jake suddenly realised that he was leaning very closely above Nate. “Do you think you’re the only one who wanted to feel complete again?”

“Jake - “Nate looked up at him, their eyes meeting and Jake realised something else.

“I am going to kiss you in about ten seconds”, he said, holding Nate’s gaze. “Any objections?”

He figured the answer was no because it was Nate who close the distance between them though Jake was quick to push him back into the pillows again. Kissing Nate was nice, no it was more than nice. It felt a little like they were drifting, so in sync with each other that they were practically melting into each other. It was slow and deep and Jake could’ve let it go on forever.

That was of course when the door opened and the cadets poured in.

“Oh”, he heard Vik say and felt Nate withdraw from the kiss while Jake had been intent on keeping to kiss Nate until the kids took the hint and fucked the hell off. Reluctantly he pulled away from Nate.

Amara was grinning from her place next to Vik while the rest of the cadets looked over so slightly shocked. Like a bunch of kids catching their parents having sex. If only.

“We, uhm, heard you’re awake”, Renata said, embarrassment colouring her voice and her cheeks.

“We’re...we’re happy you’re feeling better”, Jinhai was clearly trying hard not to laugh and his poor attempt at hiding it earned him an elbow in the ribs from Vik. “Ow!”

Nate cleared his throat. He was blushing just as hard as Renata but with his pale skin it was way more obvious. “Thank you”, he managed to say. “I, uh - “

“We’ll leave you to it”, Amara said quickly, herding her friends out of the door. When it closed they could hear Jinhai giggle, followed by Ilya’s disbelieving “Did you see- “

Nate let out a groan while Jake couldn’t help but grin. “At least it wasn’t Burke. I am not keen on getting caught by your ex.”

“Why would Joseph know about this?” 

“Because I told him?”

“Because you told him?” Nate repeated flatly.

“Yeah, the guy was really concerned about you, sat next to your bed and everything”, Jake shrugged. “Look I don’t know how badly things ended between you but I thought it’d be fair to let him know you’re still alive.”

“That means I don’t have to do it, so thank you”, Nate replied. He still didn’t look happy about it though. “And Joseph is not my ex”, he added. “Not in that way.”

“Didn’t think so”, Jake said with a casual shrug. “He’s not your type.”

“And what is my type?” Nate asked, smile tugging at the corner of his lips. 

Jake grinned and gestured down his own body, which made Nate smile but also roll his eyes. “Can I kiss you again?”

“You can kiss me whenever you want”, Nate replied but then quickly added, because he knew Jake too well, “When we’re in private.”

“Dammit”, Jake pretended to be disappointed. “Guess that means sex in the Conn-Pod is off the table?”

Nate looked scandalised that Jake would even entertain the idea.

“How about sex while we’re in the drift?” Jake spun the thought further. “That has to feel amazing.”

“No.”

“What about - “Jake didn’t get any further because Nate grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him down and into another kiss. Sure, it was mostly to shut him up but if that was how Nate was going to keep him quiet in the future, Jake was all for it.

/

Someone, probably Jules, had put Jake in charge of training the cadets - or rather the freshly graduated rangers - until Nate was recovered. So when Amara grinned at him and gave him the thumbs up, Jake made them all run three additional laps around the shatterdome.

Moyulan was not the only shatterdome that had been decimated by Newt’s drones and Liwen had returned to salvage what was left of her company. With the end of the world successfully averted again everyone was turning towards rebuilding what they had lost. Only about a dozen Jaeger were deployable worldwide and even less pilots had survived. With Jules’ help Jake ensured that Burke was transferred to the shatterdome in Sydney instead of returning to Moyulan. 

That also meant that there weren’t a hundred Jaeger available for Suresh’s funeral but Jake made sure that every Jaeger they did have was there to give him the last honour. He had been planning to bring Mako’s ashes to Raleigh’s grave in Hong Kong but now he was going to wait until Nate could make the trip with him. Mako had meant a lot to him too and besides his father’s grave was in Hong Kong as well and Jake didn’t feel like going there alone, not when he didn’t have to.

Jake couldn’t remember ever being this busy in the last ten years. Not that his life hadn’t been hectic but in a different way, though he sincerely wished that people in the PPDC would learn to relax already. He and Jules kept Nate out of the loop as much as possible or the idiot would probably discharge himself before he was properly healed.

There was also the high chance that Nate was going to get promoted to Marshall as soon as the council got its shit together and Jake wanted to postpone those news for as long as possible. He wanted Nate for himself at least for a couple days - and nights - before he was going to throw himself into work again.

Through some bribery and also plain begging Jake had managed to get the day off when Nate was finally released from the infirmary. He was still under strict orders to take it easy and only cleared for light duty but there was no reason to keep him confined to a hospital bed.

“That’s not the way to my room”, Nate frowned when Jake led him away from the infirmary.

“I know. I took advantage of the situation and got us a bigger bed”, Jake told him. He was holding Nate’s hand in his, watching him for any sign that they needed to stop or maybe even go back. It had been less than three weeks since Tokyo and Jake would rather not risk having Nate bleed out again.

“That’s sweet. Pretty presumptuous of you but sweet.”

“Please”, Jake rolled his eyes at him fondly. “As if you wouldn’t have jumped my bones as soon as the door closed anyway.”

Nate conceded his point with the tilt of his head and a smile. 

The whole scenario was mostly metaphorical too since by the time they had reached Nate’s new room he was looking unhealthily pale and instead of ravishing him against the door, Jake made him sit down on the bed and fetched him some water.

“Thank you”, Nate said, tugging at Jake’s hand a little to make him sit down next to him.

“Pure self-interest”, Jake joked. “If you die they’re probably going to put me in charge and no one wants that.”

“That’s not true. I know you’d be great”, Nate said. He sounded so sincere that there was nothing Jake could reply to it, so he didn’t. After a moment Nate asked, “How was the funeral?”

“Well it was a funeral for a 17-year-old kid, so it sucked.” Jake had quietly tasked Amara with keeping an eye on Ilya. It was hard to remember who had come up with a particular idea in the drift so of course Ilya would blame himself for charging the Kaiju on their own.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”

“Oh yeah, how dare you be in a coma”, Jake replied sarcastically but the underlying anger was still there. “Actually, yes, how dare you? I still can’t believe you were that stupid!”

“If Newt had gotten away, he would’ve tried to open the Breach again”, Nate said calmly. “About a year ago a handful of Kaiju worshipers nearly managed the same thing. Joseph and I were almost too late and a whole island was destroyed. That’s why I couldn't let him escape.”

Jake reached out and took Nate’s hand into his, tangling their fingers together. “I would’ve nearly lost you and Mako in the same week.”

“I know”, Nate raised his head and looked at Jake. “I miss her.”

“I miss her, too.” Jake leaned his head against Nate’s shoulder and felt Nate wrap his arm around him. It was a relief to just sit here and share his grief and his comfort with someone who didn’t need words to understand him, someone who knew him down to his core.

Ever since Sydney he had been busy with avenging Mako, finding out what was happening, saving the world and rebuilding it afterwards. Jake hadn’t given himself time to properly confront the reality that he had lost his sister when he had just been reunited with her. And if he was being honest with himself he wasn’t even sure if he had ever properly mourned his father either. 

Jake felt tears sting in his eyes and Nate’s arm tighten around him as he pressed a kiss to Jake’s forehead. It was like an anchor keeping him grounded when his emotions threatened to sweep him away. Jake hadn’t given himself the space to cry in years, hadn’t trusted anyone enough to see him like this for even longer. 

When the tears did finally stop Jake felt lighter than he had in years. Nate leaned back a little to give him space to move away if he wanted to but that was the last thing Jake needed right now. He wanted to be closer to the only person he still had, not further away.

“Jake - “Nate started to say when Jake rested his hand on his cheek and kissed him. It was even better than the first time and Jake finally understood what Nate had meant when he had referred to drifting with Jake as being complete.

So while the day hadn’t gone quite as Jake had imagined he had still ended up in bed with Nate, shamelessly cuddling and talking until they had fallen asleep wrapped up in each other. He woke up with his head resting on Nate’s chest with Nate’s arm around him so tightly as if Nate was afraid Jake would vanish if he let go. Not that Jake was any better with his own arm wrapped securely around Nate’s waist, carefully placed below the bandages.

As he watched Nate’s chest rise and fall and listened to his heart beat slowly and steadily under his ear, Jake thought that he could get used to this.

“Morning”, he said when he noticed that Nate was waking up.

“Morning”, Nate replied, a slow, warm smile gracing his face and Jake felt the urge to kiss him right now, so he did. He couldn’t imagine ever growing tired of kissing Nate, not when it felt like this. THough this morning there was something else there, too, and Jake knew that Nate wanted the same things he wanted. He broke the kiss for a moment to pull his shirt of his head and grinned when he noticed the hungry look on Nate’s face.

“See something you liked?”

“You know I do.”

“It’d be only fair if you take off your shirt, too.”

Nate did, though with some difficulty and subsequent help from Jake. The bandages wrapped around his torso were a stark reminder of how close Jake had come to losing him and the thought was quite sobering for a moment as he rested his hand on them.

“I’m here”, Nate said, wrapping his own hand around Jake’s. “I’m okay.”

Jake nodded and kissed Nate again, a little softer than before. He pushed him backwards until Nate was lying down again with Jake plastered along his uninjured side. They had managed to take their trousers off last night at some point and Jake knew Nate could feel his half-hard cock press against his thigh. Though Nate, like the emotionally-repressed hedgehog that he was, had kept his hands strictly above waist so far.

“Do you want - “

“Hell yes”, Jake interrupted him immediately. “That’s been my goal for weeks.”

“Then don’t let me keep you waiting”, Nate replied with the same hungry look in his eyes at earlier. He made a motion as if he was trying to get up and push Jake over but Jake stopped him. 

“Oh, no”, he planted his hand firmly in the middle of Nate’s chest and pushed him back down onto the bed before straddling him. “You are going to lie here, take it easy and I am going to ride your dick as a thank you present for saving the world, for which you’re welcome by the way.”

“I helped you”, Nate pointed out but he was a lot more relaxed than he had been a minute ago, except where it counted. 

“Sure”, Jake grinned down at him. “That’s why you get the pleasure of me riding your dick.”

Nate did that thing with his mouth where he smiled but pressed his lips together to make it seem like he didn’t. Jake had missed that expression. “Do I get another kiss as well?”

“As many as you like”, Jake smirked. “Even when we’re not in private.”

Nate rolled his eyes. “Not going to happen.”

“You say that now…” Jake trailed off, grinning self-confidently. It was easy for him to take off his boxers but Nate’s briefs needed a little more imagination especially since he wanted to keep Nate right where he was. Nate could fuck him through the mattress some other time when he wasn’t freshly released from the hospital.

He grabbed the lube and the condoms he had stashed in a drawer as well before returning to his earlier position astride Nate’s lap. He squeezed some lube on his hand and wrapped it around both their cocks, loving the slick slide against each other.

After a moment Nate did the same, glancing up at Jake. “I’m not letting you have all the fun.”

“Bit tighter”, Jake advised him, taking his own hand away and letting out an appreciative moan when Nate followed orders. He got some more lube and pushed two fingers inside of him as he watched Nate jerk them both off. He was a little uncoordinated though whether that was from a lack of experience or the coma Jake couldn’t tell.

For a moment he closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling of his own fingers stretching him open while feeling Nate’s hand around his cock. But as nice as that was what he really wanted right now was to have Nate’s cock inside of him instead of his own fingers.

“Hands off for a moment, Nate”, Jake told him and Nate obeyed him, albeit clearly reluctantly. Instead he rested his hands on Jake’s thighs, fingertips dancing teasingly over the soft skin on the inside. Jake narrowed his eyes at him but didn’t say anything to make him stop. Instead he rolled the condom down over Nate’s cock and poured more lube over it. 

“Jake - “He could really, really get used to the way Nate said his name when he started to sink down on him. Not that his cock wasn’t nice either and Jake wanted to feel every inch of it as he slowly pushed down on it. Suddenly though he felt Nate strain against him as if Jake was being too slow for this taste.

“Don’t move”, he said with more emphasis than he had intended, but the last thing he wanted was for Nate to injure himself again. Especially not during sex. The medical staff would castrate him.

“I have to move!” Nate glared up at him.

“No, you don’t”, Jake replied, keeping both of his hands firmly on Nate’s chest. “You’re going to lie still and take it easy.”

“Easy for you to say”, Nate grumbled but he didn’t make another attempt at moving either.

To placate him and also to keep him from moving Jake leaned over and kissed Nate again, though it didn’t last long since they were both a little breathless by now. Nate moaned when Jake squeezed around him before sitting up straight again.

“Fuck, you’re beautiful”, Nate said as he watched Jake push himself up and down on his cock. Jake knew he was an attractive man and had gotten his share of compliments in the past but something about the completely sincere tone Nate used got to him every time.

Nate licked his lips as he wrapped a hand around Jake’s cock and started to jerk him off again. A part of Jake really wanted to know right now what Nate’s mouth would feel like but he clamped down on the urge for now.

“Jake - “There was an urgency with which Nate said his name.

“So close, already?” Jake teased him and squeezed around him again.

Nate glared up at him and tightened his hand around Jake’s cock in retaliation, so Jake squeezed even tighter because this was the kind of war where they both would win. Keeping one hand firmly on Nate’s chest, Jake’s other hand wrapped around Nate’s, showing him exactly how he liked it. He leaned slightly forwards so he could see Nate’s face better, wanting to watch him when he came.

“Jake”, Nate was saying his name as if it was the only word he knew, the only word that mattered. He was straining against Jake’s hand on his chest, against Jake’s weight on him keeping him down. “Jake.” And he was beautiful. 

Jake held on long enough to see Nate close his eyes and felt his hand tighten even more on his cock before his own climax took him almost by surprise. When he had drifted with Nate for four hours that one time, it had felt like this, just melting into each other without care or thought. He moaned loudly as he came over his and Nate’s joined hands and Nate’s stomach.

“If you ever leave me again I’m probably going to murder you”, Nate said, still panting. His face was flushed, lips red and swollen and Jake’s come was splattered over his abdomen. This was a much better view of Nate in bed than in the hospital, Jake decided and leaned over to kiss him.

“Do you always make death threats after sex?” Jake asked when he eventually broke the kiss and rolled off of Nate, making sure to land on his uninjured side.

“Don’t know”, Nate murmured, already pulling Jake into another kiss, which was decidedly nice. Jake could definitely get used to this pliant, boneless, affectionate version of Nate. Especially once Nate was fully healed. 

Suddenly Nate’s word registered and Jake broke the kiss, looking down incredulously on Nate. “What.”

“What?” Nate asked back, obviously not following Jake’s train of thoughts.

“Tell me that this is not your first time.”

Jake watched as confusion, understanding and finally amusement flashed across Nate’s face. “It’s not my first time. I just usually would’ve left already. I figured it’d hurt less if I was the one to leave first.”

That was all sorts of sad and depressing so Jake kissed Nate again before he asked, “And now?”

“Remember our four-hour drift? This kind of felt like that.” Jake was not surprised that Nate would echo his exact thoughts from earlier. There was a reason they were drift compatible after all. But the vulnerable expression on Nate’s face told him that he should also affirm his feelings somehow, preferably unmistakably and with intent.

“Yeah it does”, Jake smiled at him, his thumb caressing the side of Nate’s face. “Still, murder isn’t very romantic.”

Nate snorted. “Forgive me, I’m out of practice in that regard.”

“That’s okay, I can teach you. I’m the most romantic man you’ll ever meet.”

“I’m looking forward to seeing that”, Nate replied with a soft smile.

Jake kissed him again because he liked that smile the most of all he had seen so far. “Also, if you pull anything like Tokyo again, I am going to murder you, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was meant to be some short pwp about Jake riding Nate and then I read the movie's novelisation, which implies that Nate aggravated his injuries by punching Newt. And suddenly there was angst and comfort and feelings.
> 
> Find me [ here](http://smaragdbird.tumblr.com/) on tumblr


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